We Ain't Got No History
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Chelsea fans’ preferred lineup against Port Vale: The class B daydream team
There’s an entire weekend dedicated to the quarterfinals of the FA Cup, so there’s no real need to rotate the squad for any sort of scheduling concerns. But Port Vale are just from the third division and most of our key players are coming off of a busy international break, so this game does afford […]
The Daily Hilario: Saturday
Overdue Most Hmm
Chelsea vs. Port Vale, FA Cup: Preview, team news, how to watch
We’re back from the international break, and I hope everyone’s had a chance for a nice little mental break as well, because these final few weeks of the season could get very taxing indeed. We begin our quest to avoid implosion (on and off the pitch) with a cupcake of a matchup against third division […]
Chelsea suspend Enzo Fernández for ‘crossing the line’ with comments
In what feels like a fairly unprecedented overreaction, Chelsea have decided to suspend Enzo Fernández for saying that he’d prefer to live in Madrid over London, after also recently casting doubt over his long-term future with a classic “we’ll see”. Enzo’s hardly the first player in professional football history to say things like that, but […]
The Daily Hilario: Friday
Chances Obviously? Hmm
How should Chelsea line up against lower-league Port Vale in the FA Cup?
The international break is over and we are back in action this weekend. I hope you enjoyed your (relatively) Chelsea-free last ten-twelve days. But even for our present condition, this first match back should be a nice and easy one. It may be the quarterfinals of the FA Cup, but Port Vale are sitting dead […]
Mykhailo Mudryk rented out the pitch at Uxbridge FC for training
A couple weeks ago, a brief video made the rounds on social media, showing (still) Chelsea FC winger Mykhailo Mudryk — nearly unrecognizable with a thin beard and actual hair — running around on a football pitch, taking a few shots, and looking about as fit as ever. Fabrizio Romano’s caption was “Mudryk ready for […]
The Daily Hilario: Thursday
Hmm Back Oof
Chelsea FCW 1-0 (2-3 agg.) Arsenal WFC, UEFA Women’s Champions League: Post-match reaction
Since Arsenal were the ones holding the advantage from the previous match, they were happy to invite Chelsea Women onto their half. We were also happy to take on the opportunity, which led to Sjoeke Nüsken setting an unfortunate tune to the Blues’ performance with a missed chance that would haunt us for the remainder […]
Chelsea FCW vs. Arsenal WFC, UEFA Women’s Champions League: Confirmed lineups; how to watch
If Chelsea Women are to reach the UEFA Women’s Champions League semi-final this season, they need to overcome a two-goal deficit that today’s opposition Arsenal earned at the Emirates with the help of atrocious refereeing. It’s not an impossible task but it is a mountain to climb, even with home advantage. We do need to […]
The Daily Hilario: Wednesday
Best Most Highest
Cole Palmer starts for England; João Pedro for Brazil; Italy miss out on World Cup
Paolo runs my favorite pizza joint. Neapolitan style. Hand-tossed. Wood-fired. Proper buffalo mozzarella. The best margherita this side of the Atlantic. He is the owner. And he is the chef. Paolo is also a die-hard Napoli fan. And a die-hard Italy fan. Paolo was not a happy camper tonight. The pizza was still great though! […]
Chelsea FCW vs. Arsenal WFC, UEFA Women’s Champions League: Preview, team news, how to watch
If it wasn’t for some baffling calls from a team of referees clearly out of their depth, Chelsea Women would be heading into this second leg confrontation with more of a fighting chance to beat the defending UEFA Women’s Champions League champions for a semi-final spot. No crying over spilled milk, however. We’re still two […]
Marc Cucurella highlights the ‘discouraging’ reality of BlueCo Chelsea
All is not well on the Chelsea front, that much is abundantly clear. Four defeats on the bounce, three of them by three goals. No goals scored for 300 minutes. More goals conceded than we care to count. A season that’s gone from promising, to concerning, to outright infuriating (or depressing, depending on your approach). […]
GB Olympian Adam Gemili returns to Chelsea as ‘speed coach’
Before he was a fresh-faced Olympian at the 2012 summer games in London, Adam Gemili was a Chelsea Academy trainee, running around the green grass of Cobham alongside the likes of Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Nathaniel Chalobah, and the one and only Josh McEachran. And running was certainly the operative word for young Adam, who would leave […]
The Daily Hilario: Tuesday
Close Lowest Decided
Marc Cucurella adds his name to the rumor mill
We’re in the middle of the last international break of the season before the start of this summer’s main event, the World Cup Silly Season, so it’s not at all surprising that we’ve been seeing more stories in the rumor mill than usual — especially when combined with Chelsea’s current malaise, on and, seemingly, off […]
The Daily Hilario: Monday
Most Only Clear
Malo Gusto kicks his feet up; Pedro Neto gets his blood pressure up
We roll into the second week of the international break after a quiet weekend of not much happening on the Chelsea front. Malo Gusto’s France had a game against Colombia on Sunday, which they’d end up winning pretty easily, 3-1, even while rotating the side from their first friendly of the break the other day, […]
Chelsea FCW 4-3 Aston Villa WFC, Women’s Super League: Post-match reaction
In this weird season where Chelsea Women have let themselves down against big and small teams alike, the confidence in the Blues being able to turn around deficit is at an all-time low. It’s also an understandable situation as we rarely go into matches with a losing score early on. Again this is a weird […]
Chelsea FCW vs. Aston Villa WFC, Women’s Super League: Confirmed lineups; how to watch
We haven’t been used to so many ups and downs in Chelsea Women. They’ve always been atypical in their winning ways and given recent movements and rumours around the squad it seems we’re in for more upheaval — although always on the lookout for an upside. Given how we are completely left out of the […]
The Daily Hilario: Sunday
Lol Lol x2 Highest
Malo Gusto: Chelsea ‘have to believe’ in head coach Liam Rosenior
Malo Gusto may be away on international duty with France at the moment, but he has heard and seen the growing criticism of Liam Rosenior and has come out in defense of his head coach when asked about him this weekend. “I think he is a top coach, I saw that a lot of people […]
The Daily Hilario: Saturday
Leaving Hmm Official
Enzo Fernández scores in Argentina win
Argentina and Spain were supposed to play the “Finalissima” this weekend, for intercontinental bragging rights between the winners of the 2024 Copa América and Euro 2024. The game was supposed to be played in Qatar, but due to the “security situation” going on in the region, UEFA decided to cancel the game. One would think […]
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