The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
We certainly have a worst answer. I’m trying to find ways to describe how much this answer from Matt Brown—an actual sports journalist whose opinions I really do respect—depresses me: Ready for this? Think about it. List yours, mentally. (You’re going to tell us in the comments.) Now, two things: Here are Matt’s answers: I […]
Why? Don’t worry about it! I will give Niko Medved $100 of my own money if, upon losing to the Baylor Bears tonight, he does this: Anyway, it is time for the College Basketball Crown, the FOX Sports empire’s answer to the NIT. Details Where are they playing? Quarterfinals will be played in the MGM […]
How do YOU survive the post-sports abyss? It was a lazy Sunday night. The wife and kids were in bed; the dishes were done; the living room was clean. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to get my grading done—though I did catch up on a three-day-old backlog of student emails (someday I’ll master the […]
Playing Alabama is a dangerous proposition. An up-tempo team that’s never met a three-point shot it didn’t like, when the Tide gets rolling, things can get out of hand pretty quickly. Michigan may have come into Friday’s Sweet Sixteen match-up as the Midwest region’s top seed and favorite, but the Wolverines knew they were in […]
Remember when? The year was 2016, and Iowa was set to face Illinois. It was a crisp, blustery November day. To open the first half, Iowa kicked off to the Lovie Smith-led Illini… …and then, to open the second half, Iowa did the same thing. Illinois never kicked–but punted 10 times–in that 28-0 shutout loss […]
Plenty of odiousness to go around tonight. I just ate the sticker off an apple, if you’d like an indication of how my day is going. Just took a big ol’ bite, thought “Huh, wonder why this is so tough?”, and managed to—I think—sever the fucker and swallow about half of it before spitting the […]
Praying for mass extinction as Purdue, Iowa, Nebraska, and Illinois all hit the hardwood tonight. Title subheader says it all, no? Anyway, happy Opening Day to you all. I’m already annoyed thinking about the Minnesota Twins, so it’s best to move on to something that makes me less angry, like college basketba— —oh Christ. It’s […]
A helpful guide to the Big Ten and beyond in the Sweet Sixteen. Discussions elsewhere have reminded me that there is still, in fact, other college basketball going on — I had personally set a reminder for The College Basketball Crown on Wednesday, April 1, and gone into hibernation. Alas. Given those results, we’ve got […]
All five Big Ten teams survived Saturday—Sunday could have more chalk, and if it holds, only one B1G team will survive today. We had our best friends over yesterday, up from wisconsin, with their two boys in tow. Basically spent the whole day running around after the kids, though with drinks in hand—Cutwater margaritas and […]
Seven B1G teams remain. Four play today. How many will be left standing? I get to go to TopGolf with some friends in town and our four children under 5. Why was this a good idea? I don’t know, as we’re going at 9am so it’s (1) cheaper and (2) I can’t drink—at least I’m […]
I’m bad with money and missed the first day of the NCAA Tournament because I’m driving around the rural Midwest, but at least I’m not a wisconsin fan Look, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life. Was it a particularly good idea to plan a driving trip to Detroit on March because (1) I […]
It’s the most wonderful day of the year! …and I’m in Detroit without access to a TV. So here we go! NCAA Tournament Schedule [9] TCU Horned Frogs vs. [8] Ohio State Buckeyes11:15am | CBS | OSU -2.5 | O/U 146.5 Second round would be an accomplishment for the Buckeyes, who will run up against […]
Was Miami a fraud all along? MAYBE WE FIND OUT! Why the cover photo? I don’t know. I woke up this morning to an angry text from my wife demanding to know why I—a person who just drove out to Detroit—paid $50 three separate times for gas in the last three days. Uh…because gas? Iran? […]
Pick stupid games, win stupid prizes. Please consider joining the 2026 Off Tackle Political System Bracket Challenge. Consider it the United Nations, but I’m not sure who’s got veto power and we have no intention of invading Korea or Iraq or anywhere else. Robin’s egg blue helmets? Group: Off Tackle Political System Bracket Challenge: https://fantasy.espn.com/games/tournament-challenge-bracket-2026/group?id=d517a18c-2551-432e-8734-4fc4d3140761&joinKey=33406b3b-7262-3cc6-8b38-2f92849cd5ab&joini...
The Big Ten’s teams appear pretty settled. But will there be a surprise? Hello from Michigan City, Indiana. Never mind why. In fleeing the snowstorm currently coating Minnesota and wisconsin in a heavy blanket of icy, blowing snow, I nearly neglected to get you a Championship Sunday open thread. A thousand pardons. I’m sure you […]
After Friday’s four-point victory over Ohio State, Michigan head coach Dusty May was asked if he liked close games. “If we win, yes, I love it,” he quipped. He must have loved Saturday’s game against Wisconsin. In a contest that started out slowly but heated up late, Michigan prevailed in a thriller thanks to a […]
Day 4 of the Big Ten Tournament weighed in pretty heavily on this one. Big Ten Tournament, Day 4 Recaps [1] Michigan Wolverines 71, [8] Ohio State Buckeyes 67 God bless Brian Gillis for caring about this game, because I couldn’t bring myself to: [5] wisconsin badgers 91, [4] Illinois Fighting Illini 88 (OT) lmao. […]
When Michigan began its defense of its Big Ten tournament championship, it was only fitting that it did so against its greatest gridiron rival: Ohio State. With the ghosts of Jim Jackson, Lawrence Funderburke and Chris Jent watching, the Buckeyes sought to get off the schneide against the Wolverines and derail their rival’s bid to […]
When the three-balls go up, who knows where they’ll come down… Good morning and welcome to the…quarterfinals?…of the Big Ten Tournament. We’ve got your recaps and looks ahead to today, but first, it’s time to pay off the headline talker. In this article… Rest in Peace, You Crazy Format The College Basketball Invitational is no […]
Indiana, you big banana. Here’s a place-filler open thread because life’s crazy. Probably will have some time/tv/line/SEO-friendly stuff coming your way in a minute. For now: Day 2 Recaps [9] Iowa Hawkeyes 75, [17] Maryland Terrapins 64 The above was actually unfair to Maryland — the Terps had a halftime lead on the Hawkeyes that […]
Indiana, you big banana. Here’s a place-filler open thread because life’s crazy. Probably will have some time/tv/line/SEO-friendly stuff coming your way in a minute. For now: Day 2 Recaps Day 3 Previews [9] Iowa Hawkeyes vs. [8] Ohio State Buckeyes11am | BTN | Ohio State -1.5 (completely made-up) | O/U 136.5 (completely made-up) 12] Washington […]
THAT’S RIGHT I DID IT! This was supposed to go out at 10:30; instead, I had the slightly-off kind of student who just smiles blankly at you spend 45 minutes telling me about the Wikipedia pages he edited and showing me his family tree, which he makes in a geneaology editing platform. I’m not sure […]
In a world of good basketball, these are two games! Today begins the 2026 Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament—LIVE!—from Chicago, Illinois. Should today’s games be happening? That’s a highly-subjective question that requires you to remember that last year there were only 15 teams allowed into the Big Ten Tournament and that this year, in the […]
Big Ten bracketology updates—including NIT projections!—ahead of the Big Ten Tournament. Let’s get right to it; here’s your roundup: B1G Thoughts Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Big Ten Tournament Day 1 previews and open thread dropping in two hours. Make sure you get your picks in the Official OTE Big Ten Tournament Bracket Challenge—those close at 3am […]
Who cuts down the tickets and punches the nets in Chicago? YOU TELL US. Oh hey, the Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament starts tomorrow with the Games of Shame! By no popular demand whatsoever, we’re bringing back our clunky and outdated methods of a Big Ten men’s basketball tournament format: the janky Google Form! Fill […]